I am listening to Tony Robins right now. He’s my occasional guy. Right now, with the new year fast approaching, I’ve rekindled our relationship. He is asking me to write down any given emotions I feel in a week. Can you imagine? Apparently, how we feel is where we live. Ok, let me see…
I want coffee = desire
Where did I set my coffee = confusion
I shouldn’t have made that second pot of coffee = regret
Wow. That pretty much sums of my life in that exact order! Desire, confusion, regret.
Seriously though, frustration is probably the biggest theme featured in my life at this point followed closely behind by disappointment. I suppose the two go hand in hand.
But I don’t necessarily see frustration as a bad emotion. We can only be irritated over the inability to achieve something if we still feel the possibility to achieve it exists. To not feel frustrated would be apathetic, indifferent, meh. Who wants to feel meh?
Disappointment, however, is not an emotion I feel is productive. Whereas frustration still moves in the direction of the future, disappointment lives in the past.
I’m disappointed I am a divorcee.
I’m disappointed I am a single mother.
I’m disappointed I have no career to speak of.
Those are the three biggest disappointments of my life and there is absolutely nothing I can do about them. But one of the most liberating ideas I’ve been introduced to is that even though we cannot go back and physically change the past, we can mentally change our perception of the past (excuse me while I have a Morpheus moment).
As cliché as it may sound, I am grateful for my marriage because it brought me three amazing children and the incredible experience of being a stay-at-home mom. My growth as a human being was exponentially accelerated by creating, caring for, and loving those three human beings.
I cannot be hung up on the fact that I am approaching my middle years and have yet to establish a career for myself simply because I would have had to sacrifice being a stay-at-home mother to my children, and as I’ve already attested that was the most fulfilling time of my life.
It would be similar to choosing between two deliciously sumptuous desserts and after choosing and devouring one, complaining that we wish we would’ve eaten the other one instead.
But the truth is that other dessert is still there, still waiting to be devoured. We just need to take the time to let the first dessert be completely digested. Maybe go for a jog to burn off some calories, do a couple walking lunges.
We just need to be patient.
That’s the antidote to frustration.
So, Tony. I suppose right now, like so many other vagabonds, I am wandering between addresses. Between frustration and fulfillment, standing on what bridges the gap – patience.