Jumping In

Here in the cabin. On the lake. We jumped in. All of us. Well, almost all of us.

Me: If you don’t suffer it’s not good.

Carol: Tame the wild elephant. I am the wild elephant.

Lav: Soften the edges.

Enil: I am not Jesus.

I went first. Shock! I lost my shoe. I found my shoe. I realize losing shoes in the water is a recurring theme in my life. Water is a recurring theme in my life. Fear, freedom, fascination, life. Water is life.

I love the river in the summer when it is low and the huge slabs of stone are exposed. I like to lay on them and pretend I am a turtle sunbathing. A turtle who knows what a cloud is. A turtle who knows what a cloud is but does not know what it means to have a broken heart.

I like the smell of river mud. It smells dirty and clean all at the same time. If I can keep myself from remembering humanity’s generous contributions – bottles, glass, styrofoam, plastic and rubber, bits of glass, and even shoes (seems I’m not the only one who loses shoes) – then I can breathe that river mud in while my shell glows hot with the warmth of the sun and I can be happy.

I am happy. I am a happy turtle. But I am also an elephant. I am a turtlephant. And my tribe is here with me. And we jumped. We lost one but we gained another. I like this new elephant. She is the wild elephant. I am the turtlephant.

What does it mean?

Sometimes nothing at all.

Sometimes a turtlephant is just a turtlephant and that is ok.

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